I'd really love that if my mouse could be prayed for. I tossed and turned thinking about it last night, and have located a vet in case of emergency (very near by) but having cleaned them out this morning and played with the mouse in question I'm not going to take him until he shows signs of unhappiness. It'll be expensive and not beneficial, plus it'll only stress him out which if he hasn't got long left then seems a waste of time. Instead he is maximising his wheel time.

My last day on special care was lengthy, but far more interesting this time. I looked after a collodian baby. It's where a membrane covers the baby about 2 sizes too small for it. Everything is squashed and contained underneath. It's referred to as being like a sausage skin, and it really is exactly like it. It sheds over time and then either the skin underneath is normal, or there are further dermatological problems. Practically it means changing dressings every 3 hours (each change takes and hour and a half) and applying a tub of vasoline each time and three layers of bandages. She was absolutely gorgeous. A very happy baby, she was the most content (and hungry) I have seen in a long while. I was worried when we were doing the dressings it would be painful, but she seemed to love it, it must be like an all over body massage, plus cool soothing cream. The only time she wasn't happy was when she was hungry, then she demonstrated her lung power.

The most upsetting thing about her was the fact that evryone seemed to think it was OK to come and stare at her. Other members of staff, parents and so on. I understand that a rare case is a teaching opporunity if used correctly, but people were commenting on how awful she looked and how the parents must wish they'd never had her. It was awful. So we put up screens round her, then rigged some brightly coloured cot bumper covers so that she would have some privacy. The only problem with this is I felt a kind of ambivalence that we were doing it to protect her, but at the same time we gave out the message that she needed to be hidden away. This is something which struck me before about breastfeeding on special care. We put up screens so women have privacy, this is obviously important. But one woman said she'd prefer not to have the screens as they increase the already massive heat of the ward. The nurse said she had to have them so as not to offend other parents. But this seemed a bad message to give out. There are reasons why breastfeeding in public rates are so low, and this attitude just semed to be sending the message that breastfeeding is unattractive or in some way offensive.

It's a complicated set of issues I guess, but worth thinking about I think. I've noticed recently that midwifery seems to be covered with areas where things we do to try and protect women and babies can end up doing damage if stuck to without thinking about the individual circumstances.

Enough of that....train tickets are booked for coming home, I am soooooo looking forward to it. Seeing mum, bill, hens and ducks, polly, and everyone else. Really excited now. Also my tutor suggested today that instead of doing a top-up course to convert my diploma into a degree I could do a Masters instead. I have just looked at it and it is fantastic, part time, distance taught, interesting. Something else to think about I guess. Right, off for a walk and window shop.