The house

Well here are some pics of the new house. And I have to say I am stupidly nervous about putting them on here for two reasons. Firstly I feel like I'm really tempting fate. My solicitor was hoping to be able to exchange contracts before I left Sheffield and then I would be able to relax somewhat given it would make it nearly impossible for anyone to pull out, however due to the opposite soliciors being shoddy and closed early for Christmas this couldn't happen. So I'm nervous that I'll put these up and then it'll all vanish before my eyes. Oh no!

But more silly than that I feel really defensive. I know it'll never be to everyone's tastes, and there are things that I'm not so fussed on, but it's gonna be mine, and that feels really special, and in a way a little bit tender and raw. So here's opening it up to being seen. The outside looks a bit confusing as the black bit looks like it might be next doors door but it's were there used to be a sort of porch bit, which is now indoor storage. My most fav bits for looking at are the kitchen and bathroom as they are well beyond anything I thought I would be able to have, and are two places I will enjoy spending time, firstly starting my tea cooking and then going and lounging in a warm bath with a big glass of wine!!!!! Ah bliss. This is what I need to return my sanity in Sheffield I think following a pretty pants time with some shite housemates. I want to get back to looking forward to cooking, as much for the process as for the outcome, rather than working out what I can run in and grab and then run out with to avoid contact with the evil ones. Plus I genuinely think it'll give Neil a chance to enjoy being around in my space without having a stressed and stroppy bunny to contend with as that's how I end up - it's a miracle he's hung around this long to be fair.

News to report - just had a lovely visit from Kathryn and children who it is wonderful to finally meet. What a lovely thing to do at this time of year with open fires and crumpets. I've lost my heart to Dillon which I think was fairly inevitable. And now I'm back to reading my book Eldest which I have to say I am engrossed in. Neil did well choosing that as my present before Christmas (as we're having them afterwards really), I'm thoroughly engrossed in the world of elves and dragons. I think part of me would love to vanish into that kind of world, and certainly to be around a dragon - the voice of Saphira in the book is perfect. However since this is unlikely I think I will be forced to stick to midwifery and continue to dream about dragons between babies. I tried to do some work this morning for the dreaded exam but it's really frustrating cos in a way I need to just be ready to react, but that makes it difficult to reassure yourself through preparation, so instead I've been reflecting a bit more generally on some of the women I've had recent contact with. We very rarely get the chance to think about things in this whole fashion which is a bit of a joke given the type of care we are meant to be giving, but I think thats just as valuable at the moment as struggling to remember physiology. In a single day on community I take in enough to occupy me for a week so it's good to ponder it all as a whole at the moment, and hopefully return to them somewhat refreshed.

At least that's the plan - the small voice in my head whispers.